Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Frustrated!



Last night I watched the new season of Jon and Kate +8!! I, like everyone else wanted to see if the would address the rumors and issues they are having, on the show! And boy did they!! I watched a completely different couple ( than the other seasons) talking about what "they" were doing for the kids and the show! I was surprised and shocked to listen to them talk about how they didn't see this coming or they want what is best for the kids. I was also surprised about what the tabloids didn't talk about! How Kate is traveling around the country promoting her books and show and Jon is at home watching the kids! He has said that he did not plan to be ( a stay at home Dad). And then there was Kate saying how Jon has changed and all of a sudden they are two different people wanting two different things!
I have been married almost as long as they have and we are the exact same ages as they are! Obviously I have not been through everything they have been through nor do I have 8 kids I have 4! But what I want to say to them has nothing to do with ages or #of kids you have or even how long you have been married! the thing that has stayed with me and haunted me about what they said last night on the show was, when Kate sat next to Jon ( as far away as she could on a love seat) and talked about "the kids"! She said how "the kids" are everything to her! she wakes up for them and does everything she can for them! She said they are what keep her going!
UGH!!!! That is my problem with her! Where is she placing her relationship with Jon? Second? She has put the relationship that produced those children below them! I think women everywhere are taught to put their children first in everything! Above their husbands, religion, and of course above themselves! What we are left with are women who don't know why their divorced! They don't know who they are! And they don't know where they belong!
I think there is a balance in life as mothers! But I don't think we should be putting our children above everything else, especially not our marriages!!!!
It is hard as a couple to find time to be together or time to even talk without kids around. But it is important! My children I pray will leave my home and find their own spouses and have there own children! I will be "left" with Dan! I want that to be an exciting and Happy time in our life! Not me wondering " who is that stranger over there?"!!
Daniel and I say that the best advice we can give to any couple is to marry your best friend! I would also like to add keep them your best friend! Include them in your life! Spoil them! Surprise them! Find happiness in their joys! Celebrate things together (And not just holidays! )! I dont mean just wives do this or jsut mean but both!! Grow with each other Not apart! Take those moments to remember that, that is your person you want to spend the rest of your life with and all of Eternity with!!!!

Don't put it last put it first!!!

Friday, May 8, 2009

wanting more......


I am a selfish selfless person! I know you’re thinking that that is a contradiction in terms, but.....
I want a lot in my life and no I do not mean healthy kids and great spiritulality though I do want those things too! I want material things! I want a large house! With beautiful things in it! With large sectionals and newer counter tops and nice appliances and fireplaces! I want a jetted tub and double sinks! I want a separate living room and family room and a craft room and a huge garage! I want land!! I want beautiful yard and garden and enough space to drive a four wheeler around on! I want lots of things!! That is the VERY selfish me!!!!
The other me wants to be close to family! To help out my brother and sisters! To give what we have to help others succeed! That is the selfless me!
Daniel often asks if I will ever be happy with what I have and content! I am constantly wanting things, and wanting for things to change! a dog, another baby, a project, a new house, to paint my house, to sell something to get rid of things, to start a diet, to be thinner to accept me, be more spiritual, to cut my hair to get another dog! I don't stop! For all those worried that I am out of control, don't worry! Dan when I get into my "wants" is there to remind me to be thankful and grateful for what I have! Dan has these moments of wants to! But his is my blog so my thoughts!
I realize that it is not about what we do have but how we take care of what we have! If we don't take care of our 500sq ft than we won't take care of 5000sqft! If our old "junkie" car is dirty and messy and wrecked the newer one will become like that also!
SO that is my goal right now! To not stop wanting things, but while I want be grateful for what I have and take care of those things as if they were what I was wanting!! (I hope that made sense!!)

Sorry!!

I know I have been awful at writing these last few weeks ( thanks sarah for reminding me everyday!!!)! Here are a few and I will try to catch up!! we are all good and healthy and safe!!!